Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
