Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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