My sheets look like a crime scene.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Acid is not a monday night drug
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize