I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
