He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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