I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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