my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I am naked and annoyed.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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