I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
