I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize