They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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