I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
