i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
