wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Randomize
