you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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