oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
