i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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