What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize