I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
