After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
