She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
