do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Randomize