i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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