was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
