ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
