After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
