Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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