Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
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This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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