I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
