OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
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I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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