Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
