The maid of honor just puked.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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