Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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