i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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