hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
