How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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