508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
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