She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
