I can tuck mytits in my pants
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize