i think my mom watched the whole time
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
