Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
