she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
