Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
