somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
