fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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