I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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