Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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