; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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