Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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