Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
