You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
