Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
