How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
