3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I am one with the molecules
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
