Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize