I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
