I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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