Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
