Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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