Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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