you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize